Sex and love addiction therapy is a relatively new area of mental health therapy.

Neurobiology has opened up the study of this area of addiction with the use of functional MRIs that let researchers study the brains of living beings as they observe pornography or research and monitoring of the brain in the initial stages of falling in love.

One of the many conclusions learned is that both of these studies show activity in the pleasure center of the brain, the limbic system, the same area of the brain that is lit up when a person ingests cocaine. This tells us that sex addiction, limerence (the beginning stages of love, also called the honeymoon period) and using altering chemicals all affect the brain in the same way.

I encourage you to watch this interview with Dr. Patrick Carnes, in which he clearly explains the point where a behavior becomes an addiction:

One of my other specialties is Sexual Anorexia, which is defined as an aversion to sexual intimacy.

It is the opposite end of the spectrum of sex addiction and manifests in deprivation.

People who are sexually anorexic will avoid sex and sometimes even touching at all costs.

Some may find it surprising, but Sexual Anorexia and Sex Addiction are fundamentally the same thing, but on a different spectrum.

A Sex Addict can be full on sex outside of a marriage and a Sexual Anorexic in the marriage.

Both come from a compulsive “in control and out of control” state.

In our work together, I will help you explore the origins of where and when these compulsions began, and create a treatment plan to get you to a place of healthy sexuality.

It’s no surprise that a Sex Addict is often from a family containing one or more addicts.

While not true for all, what is common is growing up in a difficult family situation and experiencing trauma from a young age, few or many, big or small, and not having the traumas attended to compassionately by the major care giver(s).

These early traumatic experiences teach a child not to trust. The child is forced to find a way to soothe their own pain and deal with not having their basic nurturing needs met.

In a landmark study done by Patrick Carnes, 85% of sex addicts come from a rigid, disengaged family home with a high degree of religiosity.

The original and/or continual traumatization, big or small, of a person, particularly, but not exclusively in childhood, becomes overwhelming in that the person dissociates from reality.

This trauma and dissociation creates patterns of brain pathways that become ingrained.

Later in life as a teenager and adult this dissociation can be mimicked by drugs, alcohol or out of control sexual behaviors.

Simply put, a person will use mood altering means to dissociate from painful emotions or just the monotony of daily life.

As children, teenagers, then adults, this pattern progresses to searching for something outside of self to rely on to relieve pain, loneliness and anxiety.

It begins in childhood/adolescence with compulsive masturbation, and then for the sex addict, sex continually becomes the priority for which they sacrifice everything.

In many cases a person is cross addicted using drugs and alcohol in a cascading effect to fuel the sex addiction.

Like other types of addicts, some sexual addicts may never be “cured.”

Sexual addicts achieve a state of recovery, and maintaining that recovery is a lifelong day-by-day process.

The Twelve Step treatment approach teaches addicts to take their recovery “one day at a time,” concentrating on the present, not the future.

When we first get together there will be a thorough assessment of the history of past trauma(s), how the traumas in your life were managed or acknowledged by a major caregiver, and if in your family of origin there is a genetic predisposition to addiction.

We will also assess and discuss the consequences of your behaviors, and if your behaviors are aligned with your morals and values.

Then you will start a disciplined, task oriented weekly therapy to rid yourself of damaging behaviors that are hurting your current relationship and/or keeping you from your goals and dreams.

The use of workbooks will keep you on task and accountable to your recovery program along with a detailed plan of action to get you to where you want to be and how you want to live.

Many sex addicts need to learn the skill of empathy and be coached in this practice.

Topics include:

• Breaking through denial

• Defining sobriety

• Discovering thinking errors

• History taking

• Planning for relapse prevention

Start a life changing recovery journey with healthy habits.

Certified Sex Addiction Therapists are professionals who have taken extensive supplementary training to treat individuals experiencing compulsive sexual behaviors, or sex addiction. Every 24 months, to keep this certification current, a CSAT is required to take 20 hours of continuing education units.

CSATs are highly-trained and knowledgeable in treating trauma and the underlying causes that may lead to sex addiction.

“To become a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), a practitioner must have a Masters-level degree, be fully licensed (depending on country/state) and have at least 5 years of experience in the counseling field.”
— Dr. Patrick Carnes, author of Facing the Shadow, et al.