The Shock of Partner Betrayal

Partner betrayal trauma is one of the most painful life experiences. 

Finding out the very person you chose to be intimate with, is lying and hiding their behaviors from you — acting one way and actually being another — is a shock to the system.

Many partners don't want to face what is happening and keep giving the addict a pass, until reality crashes down and the facts can't be denied. Two of the reasons behind denying or ignoring a sex addict partner’s behavior are because the addict is gaslighting them and also the rupture they know will ensue from facing it.

Betrayal brings up a multitude of thoughts, feelings, and experiences, including anger, rage, listlessness, insomnia, distrust, and living in a constant state of high alert.

If reading this resonates with you, what is most important is that you take care of yourself and find a therapist who can validate your feelings, while you navigate your reality and future.

Questions you might be asking as someone experiencing partner betrayal trauma are:

“Who is this person I am married to and what else do I not know about?”
”How can I ever trust him/her again?”
And one I hear a lot in sessions - “How do I know this is an addiction or is it just a medical term for sketchy behavior?”

There is help and support for you that you can connect with to not feel so alone. 

Pamela Kohll
MS, LMHP, LPCC, LMHC, CSAT-S, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST)

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